Member-only story
Hope — the double edged sword
Nobody has all the answers, so I was told.
But I wanted answers, to not all, but at least the most difficult questions - why I didn't get to do what I wanted, why the people I love abandon me, and the likes.
I hadn't slept properly for years, because my mind was too busy finding answers.
I used to think, that the day I get all my answers, would be the day I'll have a sound sleep.
I hadn't eaten mindfully for years, because my mind was too busy unravelling the mysteries of unexpected actions of predictable people.
I used to think, that the day I decode the puzzles, would be the day I'll savour my food and fill my tummy to the brim.
When years and years passed by without answers, I was devastated. Not because I didn't have answers, but because I had lost hope.
Because I was told, that nobody has all the answers.
And despite that whenever I folded my hands in front of God, I had a deep sense of satiety and faith - a feeling that despite anything and everything, I'll be taken care of.
The problem with hope is that -
If you have hope, you don’t know where to stop.
But if you lose hope, you don’t even know where to start.
I had no idea when and where to stop hoping for…
