How I broke my decade-old habits of being impulsive and losing temper
Well, you can't break habits!
You can just replace them!
Despite being aware of the fact that being impulsive and losing temper is a deal breaker, it was actually difficult to pull it out of my subconscious.
Since these many years, behaving that particular way had reinforced that habit of mine and etched it way too deep in my subconscious.
The day I realised that behaviour of mine has done more harm than good, I took a pledge - to break free from those chains!
To begin with, it wasn't easy.
But well, where there's a will, there's a way!
I began with negative punishments — to punish myself every time I do it!
I started maintaining a diary to jot down my acts of impulsiveness or bad temper.
All throughout the week, for every episode of acting out of impulse or losing my temper, I punished myself with Rs 100 as a fine. (Of course, you can choose any punishment that seems fit, but yes, it should be something that actually pains you deep down.)
[And then all that money would go to charity. (What I did with that money is not important, but the fact that it was leaving my pocket, is important.)]
It started with almost Rs 800-900/ week (8-9 episodes/ week), and over a course of three weeks, the same came down to just Rs 100/ week (one episode per week).
Later, when three consecutive weeks went by without having to levy any fine, I decided to up the game.
While I was punishing myself for my behaviour, I realised that I was just trying to control the way I react, and that did nothing to change the way I think. I still thought the same way, but yes, I had learnt to CONTROL that outburst!
So half the battle was won! But the other half was yet to be conquered!
I think the more important thing is to regulate the way we think and not just the way we react, since the former forms the basis of how we act and behave.
The foundation is the way we THINK; the way we act and behave is just the superficial layer.
So the next task was to REPLACE that old way - of thinking impulsively and reacting negatively, to thinking positively and reacting cautiously.
For that, I started with positive rewards.
For every episode of having handled a situation with positivity and premeditation, I gifted myself a long drive (I absolutely love long drives, so yes, that was my reward! 😜) (Of course, you can choose any reward that you like!)
For seven days straight, everyday I got the opportunity to go on a drive! Yes! I had successfully started CREATING that habit!
But, the problem here was, that I needed a positive incentive to be able to do that!
So the next step in line was to be able to do the same thing, as a matter of conditioned habit, without the incentives.
And that was difficult.
Because I had no incentives now, I had to find a purpose - for why I was doing that.
I recalled all the damage that my impulsiveness had done, and that became my source of motivation!
Everytime I would be faced with a situation that tested my patience, I would play that tape in front of my eyes, and that gave me enough motivation and courage to be able to break free of that vicious habit!
Finally, some three-four months later, now, I no longer have the urge to impulsively act or bark at people who test my patience!
Remember? It takes 21 days to create a habit.
Now, it's been over three weeks that I have reinforced this new thought process into my subconscious mind.
The more you repeat an action, the more you reinforce that!
It's been over a month now, that I've had no regrets - about the way I behaved with somebody or handled a situation!
So that’s how I grew a lot more positive, calm, and premeditated!
What’s your story? What’s your way of breaking free of vicious habits?
My social media handles:
